Who Inspires Me.?
Many people everywhere have someone or something that inspires them to do what the do in the world. The person that inspires me in this world is Bill Gates. He inspires me to achieve my goals and go to college so I can hopefully be partially as successful as him. He owns a multi-billion dollar company, and pretty much dominates the world of computers. Bill Gates has had to work hard to get to the top of the computer industry. He works hard; he knows what needs to be done and is smart about it. Its how he has kept his company afloat through the recession. He has a very successful business plan and his influence continues to grow stronger with each passing day. He and his company are corporate machines hard-wired to excel in every aspect of business.
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I liked how Bill Gates inpires you to go to college and how you told us about how Bill Gates kept his company afloat during the recession. It made me keep reading.
ReplyDeleteIt is a really good start, but i think it should be alittle longer. I also liked hearing about the aspects of him that helped him manage to keep his company afloat. It was interesting and made me want to keep reading. I think you should schose more character traits that you admire, and make it into separate paragraphs. This is a great start and it is very nicely writen!
ReplyDelete-katie:)
I agree with Katie, it should be a little longer, but I like it so far. I don't have any questions. If this were my paper I would just break it up into paragraphs and make it a little longer.
ReplyDeleteOne question that I would have would be when did Bill Gates start his company and how fast did it grow. If this were my paper, I would have added more to the essay but overall it was good.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Katie about how long it is, but I also liked it so far. I have no questions and i wouldn't change anything but how long it is.
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